Thursday, May 05, 2005

Thieving Machines

I'm at McConnell Engineering's revamped cafeteria yesterday and plop a buck-fitty into the soda machine. Plop plop plop. I push the button to get my drink...nothing! I push again frantically. NOTHING! The machine ate my money like a starving orphan at a Christmas buffet. So I naively figure, "Well, I'll press the coin return button and the money will happily return to me". Sigh...if only. I press and press and nothing comes. I decide to write down Coke's phone number and complain. They'll probably send me a coupon for free Coke (just like Pepsi did once in a similar situation). I move on.

I go to the other vending machine and notice a bag of nice, crispy plantains. I put my money in and press "C4". It's always a tense moment when those little turnstiles rotate and this instance was no different. The turnstiles rotated...and then the bag got caught on the edge. It did not fall. Right now, I'm thinking that this is my worst vending machine experience ever. I will not let the machines mock me. Images of last week's Simpsons went through my head, where Bart was addicted to vending machines. What do I do?!?

My choices are a) rock the machine in an attempt to loosen the package, b) leave or c) put more money and get two bags of plantains.

At first, I choose 1). I rock the machine a bit, when I see that little sticker they put on the machines of the silhouette guy rocking the vending machine until it topples on him, crushing every tiny silhouetted bone in his detail-less body. I stop and choose option c). I put my money in and press "C4" again. Then I realize that it was the last package of plantains in that row. The space behind is empty.

I retreated to class, spending $4.50 for a single bag of plantains. They were good, though.

Worst...vending machines...ever.

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