Thursday, July 28, 2005

Wrist elastics; amputees with cells; giving geeks a bad name

Ok, what the hell is the deal with these Lance Armstrong-esque wrist elastics? You know, you see the kids nowdays wearing a rubber band on the wrist, sometimes 3 or 4! They started as yellow but now come in all sorts of colours. And on them is written some phony, deep sounding phrase on it, like "music=life" or "love everybody" or some garbage crap poo like that. The mere sight of these wristbands upsets me. People just look like mindless sheep in my eyes when I see them wearing those.

They apparently started as a symbol for Lance Armstrong's cancer fund, but you think these people who are wearing them
a) know about the cause, or
b) have given any significant contribution to cancer research?

Not bloody likely.


So I'm passing through the Eaton Centre to McGill Metro and, as usual, there's an amputee there in a wheelchair asking for change. However, I then hear a ringing. I'm thinking, "man, this guy must be in bad shape if he has no legs AND he's ringing". But no, it was his cell phone! His freakin' cell phone! He answers it and starts chatting away for a little bit. Then he cheerfully says "bye", hangs up and resumes his sad-faced begging. Ha! What a phony! How can he afford a cell phone on a beggar's salary?

Unless he has a pimp.

Maybe there are amputee pimps out there. They organize a bunch of amputees and set them up at strategic locations, taking a cut from their begging earnings. And if they don't pay up?

*Smack* "That's what you get for not paying up, b****! I'm only doing this cuz I love you." *Smack*


At the gym, I run into a guy from high school every now and then. His name is a homonym of a hockey player recently bought out by Philadelphia. Anyway, he's a Class 1b nerd. You see, he's not really into Star Trek or scifi like that, so he's not a geek. He's worse. A nerd. A class 1a nerd is one who knows the entire history of the DC comics universe plus can recite to you the Dungeon Master's Guide: Core Rulebook II. A 1b nerd is a distinct, yet not wholely uncommon subsection, one who thinks he knows everything about comics, but gets everything wrong. These types of people talk about comics really loud and embarrass not only themselves, but also those they talk to.

Case in point, this guy is discussing with me in the gym (full of jocks just waiting to beat us up...if they can! haha), very loudly, how he loved the Fantastic Four movie and how he's absolutely DYING to see the movie Sky High. If you're not aware, it's a Disney movie about a bunch of kids with mutant powers attending high school. We're talking about a 24 year old man wanting to see this pre-teen targeted film, with so much enthusiasm. While we were talking, in fact, the ad came on the tv at the gym and he made me quiet down so he can watch it. Then he mentions how he hated Pulp Fiction. How it's one of the worst movies ever. I tried to explain to him that while he's slightly entitled to his opinion, he cannot deny that movie's originality, energy and huge influence it had on many films since, even up to today. He refused, calling it stupid. Yet he wants to see Sky High. On second though, maybe those jocks should beat him up.

Wait wait, that's not the half of it (some genuine geek talk coming...brace yourself). He was arguing with me how, in the next Spider-Man movie, they MUST have Peter Parker acquire his black costume from space. FROM SPACE! And that the Vulture MUST be the villain. I tried to explain reasonably that these movies are trying to be mainstream and an audience would not accept alien beings and old guy with wings glued to his arms in this movie series. It just would not work on screen. He called me crazy and insisted they should pursue it.

I gave up. Then I realized why non-nerds want to beat up nerds. They (we?) are so annoying! At least I know when to stop. I understand other types of people and have other avenues of conversation to pursue. This guy (and legions like him) are so out of touch with reality that it scares me. Not only that, but he was talking so loudly and passionately that I was shamed in the gym.

JL: "I think they should have the alien symbiote costume in the next Spider-Man movie. In Spidey 3, the suit should come, in #4, it turns to Venom and in #5, they have to introduce Carnage, killing babies."

**Every girl in the gym working out spins her head and looks at us in disgust.**
That's all good and well for him...He has a girlfriend (somehow).

On behalf of all geeks and nerds, I apologize for many of us who don't know anything about anybody.

Sunday, July 24, 2005


A lot of things happened this weekend. I will thus recount them.

Friday, we went to Arahova (at a normal suppertime, not 3am!) and had a modest bday supper for Kenny and Bassem. Hooray for their birthdays! Yay! Afterwards, we caught The Island. Chris was offended by the movie's point of view on cloning. I thought it was an entertaining enough movie. It's a Michael Bay film, so lots of things explode and many improbably action sequences are involved. It's not a movie you'll remember long afterwards. It's very disposable.

Saturday, a few of us ate at Mike's prior to catching the "Daily Show Secrets...Revealed" show at Just For Laughs. A few people from the Daily Show came up and discussed the show. Jon Stewart couldn't come but he sent a videotaped segment addressed to the crowd. It was really fun and I got a limited edition poster signed by Stephen Colbert and Samantha Bee (numbered 2/200). Afterward, some of us crashed Chris's new apartment. Very impressive! It's spacious and neat and we played Marvel vs Capcom 2. We also played this monsters-attack-the-US board game while watching Coming to America. Good times were had by all.

Sunday, was the Dave-instigated brunch! Nice to see some people I haven't seen in a while. All went well. After that, driving range!! I'm not really any good at hitting golf balls, but by my second bucket of balls, I was really whacking them solidly. I have the many blosters to prove it! Gross!!!

In the end, a nice, fun weekend. Thanks to all who made it and made it possible. You guys are the maaaaaad jokes.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

And we now return to our regularly scheduled program

Now, some of the madness has died down, I will take page from Mo's blog and talk about toilets.

Why is it that some people cannot be bothered to flush public toilets? For instance, I'm at the Guzzo movie theatre and I'm waiting for the stall when this dude comes out, talking on his cell (gross!) and just leaves. I look and sure enough...he didn't flush. Is it that hard? Do you have some sort of debilitating bone disease that does not allow you to exert enough force to push the little lever?

People are inherently gross and dirty. I should be like Howard Hughes, or Anthony Edwards on Northern Exposure and just lock myself up in a clean environment to get away from these idiots.

Friday, July 22, 2005


I removed comments from my posts until some people learn respect. Mother references and stripper references and things using my poor momma's name are not cool. That is all.

Thursday, July 21, 2005


Scotty died. It's a sad day for Trek fans. Who knew that he was at Juno beach on D-Day and was shot 6 times, losing a finger?

I'll try to dig up the photo Chris and I have with him.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005


Just a few thoughts on the return of hockey.

I love how this salary cap is punishing teams that spend a lot of money. Look at the Flyers. They already have $33.7 million committed to 13 players, leaving them less than $6 million to sign 10 more, to be under the salary cap. Other teams like Detroit are in the same boat. To create some room under the cap, there is a provision that they can buy out a player's contract for 2/3rds its value, thus adding more free agents to the pool. What all this is effectively doing is redistributing higher calibre talent (that would have signed with rich teams) to poorer teams, thus equalizing the playing field a bit. Great!

Secondly, the draft order. They're doing a random draw for the draft picks this year, with the top prize being phenom Sidney Crosby. They're using a pingpong ball system to select who will pick first. Teams that have missed the playoffs in recent years will have more balls in the bin than others. There is a conspiracy theory out there saying that the NHL will rig it so that the Rangers get the #1 pick. The NHL desperately wants NY to be a marquee franchise again and this would be a good start. Supporting this theory are two things:

-Columbus, Pittsburgh, Buffalo and the New York Rangers will have the maximum of three pingpong balls.

-The random drawing of pingpong balls will not be televised. Who knows what they can do behind closed doors.

Anyway, it will be neat to see the massive migration of players this year, more than most, due to the cap.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Go to hell, escalators!

People never fail to amaze me with their idiocy.

Case in point: escalators. Now, a curious socialogical phenomenon occurs when people approach an escalator that is not moving. It always happens. Just last week, I was behind a group of people approaching an escalator. They get right to the first step when they notice it's not working. So what do they do? They stop, backtrack a bit and take the stairs down. I think that's too hilarious.

I think that's too hilarious. Hey, people! You know what an escalator is when it's not moving? Stairs, goddamit! You can walk down them like stairs. Unless, of course, the people are spurning the non-functional escalators as an eff you to the device.

"Oh, so you're not working today, eh, stupid? Fine! I'm taking the stairs. Go to hell, escalator!"

Yeah, it really shows the escalator who's boss.

The moral: People, by default, are stupid and should be treated as such. They must prove their intelligence. Intelligence cannot be assumed.

Monday, July 11, 2005

New computer; Weezer+Pixies

I bought a new computer. Yes, sir. I'm riding the coming wave of 64-bit techonlogy and PCI-Express video. Here's a breakdown of my machine.

-AMD 64 3000+ (running at 2GHz), Socket 939
-Dual Channel 1GB memory
-ATI Radeon x600XT 128MB PCI-Express video card
-Antec Sonata tower (very quiet!) with 380W power supply
-Logitech MX1000 wireless laser mouse
-Logitech Access keyboard
-SoundBlaster 2.1 sound system
-Samsung 730B 17" LCD monitor
-160GB Maxtor hard disk

Anyway, trust me when I say the system runs so fast. The CPU runs faster than a comparable 3GHZ Pentium 4 chip and the fact that it's 64-bit means when the new Windows and other 64-bit applications come out, I'll be riding high. The dual channel memory makes the RAM runs at twice the normal speed. Also, PCI-Express is the latest, fastest standard for video cards, so that's cool, too. Yay for me!


Last night was the Pixies/Weezer double bill show at the former Jarry Park (now Stade Uniprix). Solid. I have pics and videos. For old guys, the Pixies rock hard, man. Wow. They're legends and they showed why. Awesome set. Weezer played a nice mix of old and new and were also very good, especially when busting out some crazy guitaring. Very nice. Each band played 70 minutes each, so the total show was a good time (Wilco, on the other hand, played longer than both these bands combined, 2 weeks ago). The outdoor scenario was fun. The weather was perfect. The rain held off and the temperature was just right. Hooray for concerts.