Thursday, July 28, 2005

Wrist elastics; amputees with cells; giving geeks a bad name

Ok, what the hell is the deal with these Lance Armstrong-esque wrist elastics? You know, you see the kids nowdays wearing a rubber band on the wrist, sometimes 3 or 4! They started as yellow but now come in all sorts of colours. And on them is written some phony, deep sounding phrase on it, like "music=life" or "love everybody" or some garbage crap poo like that. The mere sight of these wristbands upsets me. People just look like mindless sheep in my eyes when I see them wearing those.

They apparently started as a symbol for Lance Armstrong's cancer fund, but you think these people who are wearing them
a) know about the cause, or
b) have given any significant contribution to cancer research?

Not bloody likely.


So I'm passing through the Eaton Centre to McGill Metro and, as usual, there's an amputee there in a wheelchair asking for change. However, I then hear a ringing. I'm thinking, "man, this guy must be in bad shape if he has no legs AND he's ringing". But no, it was his cell phone! His freakin' cell phone! He answers it and starts chatting away for a little bit. Then he cheerfully says "bye", hangs up and resumes his sad-faced begging. Ha! What a phony! How can he afford a cell phone on a beggar's salary?

Unless he has a pimp.

Maybe there are amputee pimps out there. They organize a bunch of amputees and set them up at strategic locations, taking a cut from their begging earnings. And if they don't pay up?

*Smack* "That's what you get for not paying up, b****! I'm only doing this cuz I love you." *Smack*


At the gym, I run into a guy from high school every now and then. His name is a homonym of a hockey player recently bought out by Philadelphia. Anyway, he's a Class 1b nerd. You see, he's not really into Star Trek or scifi like that, so he's not a geek. He's worse. A nerd. A class 1a nerd is one who knows the entire history of the DC comics universe plus can recite to you the Dungeon Master's Guide: Core Rulebook II. A 1b nerd is a distinct, yet not wholely uncommon subsection, one who thinks he knows everything about comics, but gets everything wrong. These types of people talk about comics really loud and embarrass not only themselves, but also those they talk to.

Case in point, this guy is discussing with me in the gym (full of jocks just waiting to beat us up...if they can! haha), very loudly, how he loved the Fantastic Four movie and how he's absolutely DYING to see the movie Sky High. If you're not aware, it's a Disney movie about a bunch of kids with mutant powers attending high school. We're talking about a 24 year old man wanting to see this pre-teen targeted film, with so much enthusiasm. While we were talking, in fact, the ad came on the tv at the gym and he made me quiet down so he can watch it. Then he mentions how he hated Pulp Fiction. How it's one of the worst movies ever. I tried to explain to him that while he's slightly entitled to his opinion, he cannot deny that movie's originality, energy and huge influence it had on many films since, even up to today. He refused, calling it stupid. Yet he wants to see Sky High. On second though, maybe those jocks should beat him up.

Wait wait, that's not the half of it (some genuine geek talk coming...brace yourself). He was arguing with me how, in the next Spider-Man movie, they MUST have Peter Parker acquire his black costume from space. FROM SPACE! And that the Vulture MUST be the villain. I tried to explain reasonably that these movies are trying to be mainstream and an audience would not accept alien beings and old guy with wings glued to his arms in this movie series. It just would not work on screen. He called me crazy and insisted they should pursue it.

I gave up. Then I realized why non-nerds want to beat up nerds. They (we?) are so annoying! At least I know when to stop. I understand other types of people and have other avenues of conversation to pursue. This guy (and legions like him) are so out of touch with reality that it scares me. Not only that, but he was talking so loudly and passionately that I was shamed in the gym.

JL: "I think they should have the alien symbiote costume in the next Spider-Man movie. In Spidey 3, the suit should come, in #4, it turns to Venom and in #5, they have to introduce Carnage, killing babies."

**Every girl in the gym working out spins her head and looks at us in disgust.**
That's all good and well for him...He has a girlfriend (somehow).

On behalf of all geeks and nerds, I apologize for many of us who don't know anything about anybody.

1 comment:

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