Friday, October 28, 2005

Gay Takei

So George Takei is gay. George friggin' Takei! Sulu himself! At 68 years old, he comes out and says he's had a partner for the last 18 years. Now I'm not shocked or anything. The guy is neat and speaks eloquently and poses for pics like this.

Now, I don't care if he's gay or whatever. It doesn't change my opinion of him. He can do what he likes in his spare time (although, that time he said "Hi there" to Kevin Vo in Toronto takes on a whole new meaning now...) but it got me thinking, who else is secretly gay in the other Trek casts?

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Let's see. Geordie? He was an engineer but no. He was just a loser, unlucky at love. I mean, he did try to tag Dr. Leah Brahms (in holographic form, though). How about Wesley? He did wear rainbow body suits. But then again, he did try to get with Ensign Ashley Judd. Fine, he's off the list. I have it! Data. Yep, Data the Gay Android. Think about it. The dude lives with a cat. Case closed.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Despite Chris's mom's assertions, Sisko is not the one here. Odo was more asexual than anything. Yeah, he dabbled with Kira but he was experimenting. Dax made out with that chick once but that's only because one of the chick's symbiote's previous hosts was the wife of one of Dax's previous male hosts. Following me? DS9 is a toss up. Let's say...Worf. His uber-aggressive, alpha-male shtick is just a cover for his latent homosexuality. He plays the role so well, that he convinced himself to marry Dax! I'm not buying it, fanny-head! Worf, you're outed.

Star Trek: Voyager

Easy, right? Neelix. Wrong. He wasn't gay, he was just from a different species. And calling him gay makes you...a homophobe. No, the gay character on that show was Harry Kim. He never got promoted. Ever wonder why? Glass ceiling, baby. They kept him down just for his orientation. Shame on the Federation for such tactics. That's why Sulu waited till after he was captain to come out.

Star Trek: Enterprise

Everyone.

Except Trip. He got some from T'Pol.

So there you have it. Wait...it seems I've blurred the lines of fiction and reality. My apologies to all characters involved. And to Glen for appropriating his linked-picture style.

No comments: