Thursday, January 26, 2006

I'm on a roll so it's time to go solo...

Yes! It's true! A third post this week! And as you can see, I haven't yet run out of exclamation marks! !!! (the last of that set of three was an exclamation point exclaiming the previous 2 exclamation points). Down to business.

In honour of the WWF videogame JBo used to have, lo those many years ago in the condo day (condo oh condo, wherefore art thou, condo?), I decided that all must now call me Hez Majesty. That's right. Those who do not comply shall henceforth be dead to me. Well, maybe dead is too strong a term. But you'll most definitely be in some sort of semi-vegetative state, rest assured.

So finally, something that had been bothering me the last while bubbled up. I put my finger on what's so hilarious about Stephen Harper! The following, under noted thespian (and large, cigar-chomping, gun-toting black man) Chi (Kai? Shy? Tchai?) McBride's filmography:

Yes! Chi McBride played Harper! What bold casting, taking the largest, non-white guy they can find. Actually...I think I liked Chi's version better. Especially in "I, Robot" where he's blasting those bastard robots through the glass...but I digress.


Allow me to vent. One of the 3 elevators at work is non-operational. The remaining two are incredibly slow. You can run up and down to the 10th floor and back (on your hand) before the elevator arrives. So I wait there like a chump. A bloody chump! And finally the elevator arrives...and it's chock full of elderly immigrant women. It's actually a hilarious sight. See, the other floors of the building house seamstresses for Moore's and whatnot. Having few language skills, these menial jobs often fall to immigrant women who know how to sew. Then, us young punk engineers take over 2 floors of the building. I figure we're not their favourite people. So when the elevator doors open, after a 5 minute wait, they seem to inflate their sizes like frightened cats and cry out "pas de place! pas de place!" and press the 'close door' button. I guess it's their revenge.


On a somewhat related note, I constanly forget my security card. See, this card is essential to not only entering the office but exiting, as well. Now, unfortunately, the toilets are in the hall, requiring my absent card to access them (yes, the same washrooms with no flush urinals). So to get in and out of the office, I have to sneak in and out with unsuspecting people. If I see someone leaving, I bolt off my chair and slip by them. They must think I'm some corporate spy, stealing Prince of Persia 3 code on my portable USB drive.

It has been suggested to me by plenty of people to place my security card with my bus pass or in my bag. I suppose that's a sensible idea. Hence, I won't do it. I don't have an effin' lanyard for nuthin', guldangit!


I've been thinking of making more Jerry the Ill-Tempered Squid comics, probably in standard 3-panel form. What do y'all think? You can read his first appearance in Malgo Plays Twister, then his next adventure in the only Jerry comic I made, all linked on the right. If I find any inspiration, I'll do it.


All right, that's it for now, I guess. Oh, and am I the only one who noticed those ads in the metro? You know the one. It's for vacations...or something. I don't even know. Anyway, it has some bikini clad woman's back. Except, she just took off her top. It causes quite the stir from passing crowds.

Speaking of a stir, I saw this on a bulletin board at McConnell Engineering the other day. This one's for you, Amish:

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