Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Overheard in a steam

So I was sitting in the sauna at the gym when these three punks kids came in. No, there is no grossness to this story, so get your minds out of there. Anyway, these kids were young, I'd say around 16 and speaking English. They looked the typical Centennial-type. They started out talking about how good Arrested Development is, so they're in my good books, right? Wrong.

One of them was quoting a comedy routine for some odd reason. He said he heard it on the Just For Laughs show and proceeded to butcher the gag. Now, I've heard the original bit (it was Joey Elias) and it was amusing. But this guy was akin to the 1st level boss in Diablo ("Ahhh, fresh meat!").

The topic of Just For Laughs then segued to one of the kids complaining that he couldn't get into a JFL show because you have to be 18 or over and then proceeded to curse a lot. I noticed they all swear a lot. Now, swearing doesn't bother me but these guys seemed like they had no vocabulary so they used the f-word as a crutch, much like Smurfs use the word "Smurf" to hide their vast stupidity and ignorance of lexicon.

Next, one kid said, (vulgarity edited) "Hey, did you hear Nico got expelled cuz they found his brass knuckles?"
"Yeah, they searched his locker."
"How dare they do that! I can't believe it. There must have been a snitch."
"Oh, for sure. Lots of guys are getting their lockers searched lately and they find drugs in them. There's gotta be a snitch because they know exactly which lockers to search."
"Yeah but Nico had those knuckles for like a year. Word probably got back."
"Man, those knuckles were so cool. He'd walk by our tables in the cafeteria and punch down on the table with the knuckles...and I'd be like, 'can I wear them?'."
"I think we should tell a few people we have stuff in our lockers and if there's a search, we'll know who the rat is."
"We need rat poison!"

I left after this point. These guys were so stupid. Who am I to judge? I'm me, dammit. I can judge as I please. What I don't get is the following:

-this Nico guy is so stupid as to show off his brass knuckles in plain sight and then the guys are surprised he gets caught
-these guys are angry that a hypothetical snitch reported that some loose cannon had brought weapons to school. Hmmmm...

If these are the kids coming down the pipeline, I'm scared for the future. I can only hope there is an equal segment of that age group who are hardcore nerds and will one day employ these idiots in menial tasks and oppress them. Rise, geeks, RISE!

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