Thursday, February 02, 2006

Train of Fools

Taking the metro everyday, there are certain things you pick up on. One is trying to predict which car will have the fewest people in it and then waiting on the platform at the exact place where you think the doors to the most unoccupied car will open. Usually, you have to wait at the front end of the platform. It's a curious sociological phenomenon that can be described by a bell curve. Most people will come down the stairs and wait at the middle of the platform, with some stragglers moving off to both ends.

Anyway, another thing to which you get accustomed is which stops have people leaving. I get on at Bonaventure and usually do not get a seat. But then one stop down the line, at Square Victoria, there is a mini-exodus, whereupon I can park myself down and get comfortable with a book or whatnot. Then a few stops later, at Berri-UQAM, everybody clears out. It's pretty neat. By the time I get to Rosemont, there isn't much activity and I'm starting to recognize faces.

All this to say that in the few times that I still can't manage to get a seat, it's usually due to jerks. People are generally jerks but I was only familiar to bus jerks prior to being a regular metro user. I'm talking about the people who are sitting in the 2-seaters. They usually sit next to the window. Then when the person next to them leaves, the window-sitter will move outwards to the edge seat, blocking access to the window seat they were just in. Why would they do this? Don't they see people want to sit? The worst is when they actually put their bag on the empty seat. Your effin' bag is more important than me? Sometimes, I swear, I just want to grab these people from the scuffal-regions of their neck and slam them into the walls, then wrap them around the poles! But, alas, that's not a very proper reaction, unless I was Sarge from Beetle Bailey. But that's a garbage comic strip. I just hate it when they do that! And it always seems to be the same old Asian woman who does this to me and others.

Long story short, old Asian women are evil.


On an unrelated story, I will now calculate how much of Brokeback Mountain's box office intake was contributed to by Chris. Let's see, as of January 27th, it made $51M. Assuming Chris payed the $11 at Paramount to see it...
Chris contributed 0.00002157% of its gross. Nice! That number will perhaps rise when he sees it again a few more times, then buys the DVD, the action figures featuring genuine Brokeback hip-action as well as the "I wish I could quit you"-edition of Brokeback Trivial Pursuit. Hooray!

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