Thursday, February 16, 2006

White out

As I sit here at my desk, 10 floors above the ground, I usually have a neat view looking south-westward at Mount Royal and downtown to the left of that. But right now, out the large windows spanning the length of the floor, all I see if white. No buildings, no details, just white. Seemingly out of nowhere, it began to snow...and how! Upon leaving the house this morning, there was no indication of this coming blizzard, yet here it is. Like a spider on the wall, it appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

This brings me to my point. Why would anyone settle here in the first place? It's insane. I think we can conclude that the Europeans who showed up must have arrived in the summer.

Jacques Cartier: Ah what a fine summer it is. I can only assume it will stay this warm all year! Say, what is that native saying?

Native (speaking in Iroquois): Dude, guy, you'd better have some frakin' winter parkas up in here or you'll freeze your puffy shirts off! Now, how about some of that fire water of yours?

I'm sure the settlers found out in a hurry how cold it is.

Cartier: It's going to get warmer, right? This is simply an October cold spell, correct?

Native (snickering):
Yeah, sure Jack. Say, how about more of that fire water? It really warms the blood.

When everyone died that winter, they all realized what the hell they got themselves into. The Spanish and the Brits got all the good new land down South. The French got stuck with the blighted North lands. The question is, why would people stay?

It's so cold! It's so snowy. So much snow. My god, the snow. Then you watch tv and there are actual people living in actually warm places. Living there! Can you imagine?

Although, my own observations are that the warmer the climate, the nuttier the people. Look at California and Florida! Look at the Asian subcontinent and Africa and South America. The warm weather makes people nutty. The more north you go, we have nothing better to do than stay indoors and be good half the year. When it's 30 below and snowing, there's no chance of mischief. Then, when the weather is nice, we appreciate it so much that we just try to enjoy ourselves. Other places are spoiled and the heat cooks brains.

All that being said, I want to go someplace warm. Sigh...I need a vacation.

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