Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Sudorku (yeah, I went there)

There is a new fad that is permeating society. Its insidious nature prevented me from railing against it sooner. No, I don't mean the re-appearance of leg warmers nor Jamie Foxx. I'm talking about sudoku, the poor man's crossword puzzle. For those who don't know what a sudoku is, good! I won't provide you with a link to wikipedia. In fact, you won't get much out of them anyway. They have this to say about sudokus:

"The name Sudoku is the Japanese abbreviation of a longer phrase, "suuji wa dokushin ni kagiru (数字は独身に限る), meaning" you're a dim-bulbed nincompoop who doesn't have the cranial volume nor lexicon to complete a crossword.

Above: An average sudoku enthusiast.

As an avid crosswordman, or x-word-man (x-man for short), I look down my steep nose at these fools you see on the bus or the metro or anyplace else that offers a writeable surface, for that matter. They think that just because they're doing a number puzzle, they must be on par with John Nash. Well, I got news for you: it's an easy game! Anyone with two wits to collide in their skull can finish a sudoku in no time.

I'm not too worried, though. This Japanese fad will shortly go the way of other far east imports that died on this side of the planet: tamagotchi, Hideki Irabu, BeyBlade...the list goes ever on. Now if someone can just put down Hello Kitty and eliminate the characters' endings from DOA4 from my memory, everything will be fine.

Death to sudoku!

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