Monday, July 24, 2006

Nefarious smells

Yet another bus story! Yay!

So I get on the bus this morning and I spot one 2-seat bench completely empty. Now, this bench was right behind a 4-seater that was occupied by these 4 women. I hate these 4 women. I remembered just then why I stopped taking the 7:50 #32 bus. These 4 chatter so damned loud. Yack yack yack, like 4 hens. Dammit, women, nobody wants to hear your inane ramblings at that hour in the morning. There are these 2 unrelated women, then this obese girl and her obese mother. I hate them all.

In any case, I decide to sit at this seat, wondering why it is empty out of all the seats on the bus. I quickly discovered why. No sooner did I crack open chapter 12 of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban when I smelled it. It filled the air like a malicious, suffocating cloud. The obese girl stank. Body odour, sweat (, fecal matter??). I mean, nasty. It filled my nostrils. Her odour was warm and assaulted my olfactory system with its spicy, evil musk. The worst part was, her window was open, blowing this nefarious haze of filth into my face. It was dreadful. But what could I do? Sometimes I envy the noseless (this means you, Jacko...well except for all the kids-in-the-bed rubbish. Ok, fine, I don't envy you. You're actually pretty frightening).

This brings me to another point. Why do people smell? And obese folk most of all? People, it's not all that hard to clean oneself. I am reasonably sure everyone has access to running water and some sort of soap or lye solution. Please wash. Please. Please? For the good of all commuters. Just do it.