Wednesday, August 30, 2006

If you don't plan on writing, just don't have a blog

What irks me (most recently) is people who insist on having blogs...and not effin' writing on them. Not even a throwaway post in betwixt! Somewhere along the way, they heard blogs were neat and they subscribed to one, adding another voice to the crowded blogosphere, opining on widely ranging topics in a style they obvious thought was hilarious. Wait a sec...that's me.

But seriously, I was looking up and down Chris's extensive blog links off his blog and one after another, people have allowed their blogs to languish. The only person who posts with any regularity (possibly due to his high fibre and prune juice diet) is Chris and his writing is often not very amusing. I used to like the ol' Cup o' Joe blog, but when he wasn't posting anymore, he pulled the plug. He had some sense about him.

New rule. If you haven't posted in over a month, you're off my list. After that, you will have to prove to me that you warrant a link off my blog to get in my good graces again.

As Serpentor often says, "this I command!".

Monday, August 21, 2006

Snakes on the net

I spend a lot of time online, just reading up on anything. I spend entirely too much time in fact, mostly perusing various geek-filled message boards and one thing strikes me most. It is the fact that most people who post their useless opinions online have no concept of what the outside world is, and how to function in it. The following quote from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back comes to mind:

Jay: What the f*** is the Internet?
Holden: The Internet is a communication tool used the world over where people can come together to bitch about movies and share pornography with one another.

The net is full of lamers who think their opinions are law. How many countless idiots have I read who give their opinion (usually on a scifi or fantasy movie/tv show/book and tell everyone else, in very bad writing, that they are stupid because they do not share the same opinion... This bring me to the internet phenomenon (apparently called a "meme"...don't ask me... :S), Snakes on a Plane.

Sometime last year, the internet was rumbling with the idea that a movie about snakes on a plane called Snakes on a Plane was being made. Of course, it starred Sam Jackson. I, too, was intrigued about this. Sight unseen, plot untold, people were going mad about this movie. The interner buzz was so huge, you could be deafened by it, just by switching on your pc. It is to be an intentionally cheesy movie that actually incorporated some fan ideas into the final product. A movie partially by the people. So finally, it opens. It actually garners some positive critical response, too, by virtue of its fun nature. Box office for the weekend: $15.2M, just squeaking by Talladega Nights for the #1 position. In fact, if it weren't for the 10pm Thursday night shows, SoaP would have actually placed #2. This goes to show two things:

- Critics are irrelevant
- Internet buzz is useless

All these people on the net think they're so important, prompting peopleat the SoaP message board over at imdb.com to predict things in complete seriousness like it will make more money than Titanic. Some level-headed people do have some sense about them, like the guy who finally said "proof that internet nerds really dont make up much of movie-going populace". And that is true. I will speculate that the majority of these people who were heavily into the net buzz don't often leave the house and simply downloaded a bootleg of the movie.

Now, I will see this movie. I will most likely enjoy it. This movie will indeed make a nice profit, seeing as how it was cheap to make and will kill on DVD. But to all you internet guys out there who post online with your superior attitude, I just must say, please understand reality.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Random Post: Norris Bridge

Just a random news item I thought was hilarious:

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200608/s1703355.htm

Hungarians keen for 'Chuck Norris Bridge'



The American action hero Chuck Norris is leading a government poll in Hungary that has been set up to find a name for a new bridge in Budapest.

The name "Chuck Norris Bridge" has attracted more than 8,000 votes or 11 per cent of the Internet poll.

It puts the actor just ahead of a Hungarian humorist and the country's first king, Stephen the Great.

A government committee will review the outcome of the poll next month before making a final decision.

- Reuters

Monday, August 07, 2006

Middle aged? More like 62.5% aged

One thing (of the many) that bothers me is the misuse of language. I'm not talking about typos or just memory lapses. I am referring to misuse of word and their meanings. For example, I was reading some message boards on the weekend (geeky ones...please don't ask), when someone was discussing how a 40 year-old was "middle aged". Then another poster responded by saying, "since when is 40 middle-aged?", and implied that the term is reserved for people around 50 years old. To paraphrase Niles on Frasier, you're only middle-aged at 50 is you expect to live to 100.

I firmly believe language is always in flux. A language should be able to adapt and integrate new words and terms in order to stay relevant. Any language establishing strict guidelines is doomed to failure because it will not have the ability to transform itself to stay current. Meanings of words change based on usage. But something as obvious as the word "middle-aged" or "mid-life" should be simple. The life expectancy of Canada is around 80. Ergo, middle-aged should be 40, with an accepted tolerance of, say, 5 years. This goes for the more recent term "quarter-life crisis", as well, which averages out to around 25 years old. People generally don't live to be 100.

While I am on the subject, I think anybody who says the word "irregardless" when they mean "regardless" should have a dunce cap permanently affixed to their scalp via Krazy Glue and secured by Frankenstein-esque bolts.