Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Are you a fat ass?

If you listen to Mix 96 for any length of time (something I do NOT recommend for fear of irreparable brain damage), you have no doubt heard the ads for a product called Fat Assassin (with Hoodia!). In the ad, there are two girls reading off a script that is trying so hard to sound natural. One girl is saying how she lost a ton of weight by taking these diet pills and her boyfriend (Tom) can't keep his hands off of her.

My question is this. Would YOU name a diet pill Fat Assassin? I mean, it has the words "fat ass" right there in the product name!

Monday, August 06, 2007

Obesity stinks!

So, where I spend a lot of time lately, helping out at my friend's card store (I made their website! Check it out here!), lots of customers of a certain...substantiveness...frequent the place. What I will say is a stereotype, sure, but anecdotally, I feel it's feel it's true. More often than not, these people of a given rotundness flat out smell. Badly. Really badly.

I don't understand, though. Is it that they simply do not wash? They sit there is their own filth? They figure, while I'm not treating my body with respect, I may as well go the whole nine yards and not clean myself either? Or is there more to this story. Perhaps they are so large, there are places they cannot reach to clean. Whatever the reason, it's freakin' gross. If you're going out in public, please don't have an aura of stank wafting about your body, like remoras on sharks. My nose will thank you later.